


Zeke von Genbu’s Secret Art: Ultimate Bridal Carry Max

by tbat



Category: Xenoblade Chronicles 2 (Video Game)
Genre: But it’s really jank fluff, F/M, Fluff, Zeke being awful at providing brotherly advice, post-game shenanigans, rex and pyra’s size gap is an underappreciated blessing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-01
Updated: 2018-04-01
Packaged: 2019-04-16 15:01:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14167449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbat/pseuds/tbat
Summary: Wanting to become closer to Pyra, Rex seeks out Zeke’s relationship advice. It does not go as intended. Post-game. One-shot for now, may expand into a more-than-one-shot later.





	Zeke von Genbu’s Secret Art: Ultimate Bridal Carry Max

AN: Takes place post-game. Rex/Pyra and Zeke/Pandoria are established relationships already. Morag/Brighid is also in my headcanon but they aren't in this. I don't really know how to write the Xenoblade 2 characters so apologies if this reads kind of weird.

"M-MY PRINCE!"

A deafening, shrill squeak blasted out across Fonsett, forcing several dogs and at least one old lady to instinctively flinch and cover their ears. The squeals quickly dropped from the Ultrasonic range down to comfortable human listening, before giving way to a series of giggles punctuated by gasps for air.

"P-put me- put me DOWN! Everyone's looking!"

Still poking into his inner ear with a single finger, teeth clenched in mild pain, Rex turned to give a meaningful glare to whatever horrible wailing Tirkin child had just done that at him.

Oh. It was Pandoria. That was Pandoria, somehow. Oh dear.

His glare and unflattering comparison got filed into the "pretty bad idea" folder, right next to the time he tried to eat a slice of cake Mythra had left in the fridge. Her territorial instincts regarding desserts were fierce. His jaw still kind of hurt, four weeks later. The Aegis has powerful legs.

Not as powerful as Pandoria's voice, clearly. Rex had gotten so caught up in wondering how she did that that he hadn't even gotten to the why, although the mass of flailing limbs and random sparks of electricity gave him a few preliminary ideas.

Zeke was not known for subtlety on the best of days. This was definetely one of his below-average days. He'd scooped Pandoria up into his arms in the middle of the village square, bold as brass, apropos of nothing, his cheesiest, most punchable grin beaming at her all the while. With a skillfil mix of strength and dexterity, he'd manage to wrangle her into something resembling a bridal carry, albeit one where he was at risk of being kicked right in the Core Crystal with every second.

Ever since they'd officially gotten together, Zeke had become prone to random, grandoise acts of PDA. Pandoria lived in fear and anticipation of them. Of their deadly, deeply embarassing potence. This was slightly less mortifying than the time she'd walked into their shared inn room and found him sprawled on the bed with seven roses uncomfortably jammed into his mouth. It was still pretty bad.

As Pandoria struggled in vain against his ironclad grip on her dignity, Zeke erupted into his trademark laugh, interspersed with random "ows" whenever her electrcity really gave him a good zap.

"Put you down? Oh, my dear, sweet Pandy...is it not the DUTY of a loving husband to hold his beloved in his arms!? To keep her safe from the danger that lurks behind every corner of this world?!"

"I...but...no? I don't think so?! I'm pretty sure lifting me only keeps me safe if the floor is lava!" Pandoria yelped, trying not to get drawn into Zeke's interpretation of an ideal relationship. He was a self-taught master of romance, cursed with being a keen learner but an awful teacher.

"Well what if the floor is lava, Pandy? You don't know what's hiding beneath this deceptive dirt!" Zeke stomped his foot heavily on the ground, almost knocking over an unfortunate merchant's basket of apples with the force.

"It's a big jellyfish! There's no room for lava! It's all...jelly! I think!" Pandoria's flailing persisted, but she'd harnessed the energy and focused it all on repeatedly pounding on Zeke's chest with her fists. A concentrated assault and distracting him with the thought of jelly might do it.

"The red hot jelly of danger! The dessert of peril itself, burning almost as red hot as my love for you!"

Zeke remained unswayed by the sultry temptress that was jelly. He was in full swing by now. His improv in top form. Pandoria abandoned distraction and returned to straight-forward pleading.

"That's sweet, my Prince, great, love you too, PUT ME DOWN PLEASE I THINK SOMEONE'S STARTED SELLING TICKETS TO WATCH US!"

"Then let them come! Let them learn from Zeke Von Genbu, Driver Extraordinare, Lover Beyond Compare, The Best Show in the Faire! They'll see what TRUE ROMANCE looks like!"

"DO NOT START RHYMING AND PLEASE PUT ME DOWN."

"I can buy all the tickets, if you want. Means I'm the only one who'll see it." Rex made his heroic entrance, stepping towards Zeke and his still-wriggling captive. He'd seen enough. Zeke's bridal carry stance was unbreakable through physical force or persuasion. Only a third party could save her.

The gamble paid off. Upon seeing Rex, Zeke let Pandoria flop to the ground in a crumpled, unhealthily red-faced heap as he stepped towards his newest Drama Victim.

"Ah! Rex, my old chum! It's been too long!" he boomed, arm outstretched for a reunion handshake.

"It's, uh, been five minutes. You had lunch with me and Pyra. We ate embercakes. You asked her to cook them, actually." Zeke took reality in his stride, forging on with his routine.

"For a friend as good as you, five minutes feels like five years, my man!" Zeke leaned in to give Rex a slap on the back but caught his hand on his diving helmet instead.

"Hey, I need that to work, you know! Otherwise we don't have the money to make you those embercakes." Rex winced, groping around the helmet for any dents caused by Zeke's infamously powerful open-palm slap technique. He unfastened it from his collar, stuffing it in his backpack for safe-keeping. It wasn't convinient, but he wasn't risking any Zeke-induced damage.

Less money meant less ingredients for Pyra to play around with, after all. The sight of Pyra opening a mostly empty fridge was one of the most depressing things Rex had ever seen. He didn't need to relive it. He was pretty sure making an Aegis cry might be illegal somewhere.

"Oh, come now, chum, you know I'm the Prince of Tantal! You can dip your fingers into my coin purse anyday!"

The humilated floor-lump formely known as Pandoria rustled slightly.

"I wouldn't, Rex. I know salvagers do a lot of deep diving, but you'd have to dig pretty far in there to get any gold. Actually, I don't think his dad remembered to put him back into the inheritance or anything," she deadpanned, slowly gluing together the shattered remnants of her dignity. Zeke's characteristic grin collapsed into a pout.

"It's the sentiment, Pandy, I'm letting him into the coin purse of sentiment! I'm rich in love, you know. And not just for you, either," he purred, effortlessly rebounding from his strop.

"I'm staying away from you and your love until there's no one else around to see it. In fact, I'm gonna head back and raid your fridge, Rex. You don't mind, righ-"

"Don't eat the cake, it's Mythra's, you'll die, I'll die, someone'll die and I'd rather they didn't, don't eat the salads, they're Pyra's, she'll die, I'd rather she didn't, don't eat the Pan-Fried Tatari, I won't kill you but I'll get kinda annoyed." On instinct, Rex rattled out his list of, at this point, deeply internalized rules at a machine-gun pace.

"I...okay? I promise nobody will die 'cause I ate a sandwich. Later." Pandoria staggered off, still dazed from her Zeke-induced ordeal.

"I'm serious 'bout the cake! And the other two! But mostly the cake!" Rex called after her as she went, while Zeke violently waved at her with both arms, occassionally stopping to blow entirely too loud kisses.

The Fridge was a special place. Sacred. Pyra sometimes took his hand in hers and asked "Can you...take me to the fridge?" when she was hungry. The rules of the Fridge must be respected.

His duty done, he turned his attention back to Zeke. He was very glad Zeke wasn't going with her. Firstly because of whatever winceworthy romance-flavoured prank he'd pull on his poor Blade. She'd been through enough. Secondly because he'd view eating Mythra's cake as a challenge, like slaying a feared dragon. Still, while he was here, Rex figured he might as well probe Zeke about his latest public spectacle. Build up the details for the psychological profile.

"Zeke...I gotta ask. What was all that just now, anyway?" Zeke's arms froze in midair as he swivled round to face Rex.

"What was all what just when?"

"Come on, man, the...lifting. And screaming. I didn't know she could scream that loud." A vile grin spread across Zeke's lips.

"Oh, believe me, she gets louder," he said ominously, his eyebrows wiggling unpleasantly.

"Louder...?" Rex resisted the urge to shudder. Despite his reputation amongst the group as being startlingly oblivious, he knew what Zeke meant. He wished he didn't. Zeke decided to make it his business to ensure Rex knew.

"So, tell me, chum, is Pyra quiet, or has she got a bit more volume to h-"

"SO ZEKE WHY WERE YOU PICKING UP PANDORIA LIKE THAT." Nope. Wasn't going down this road. Too many pitfalls. Not like he knew, anyway.

Zeke stroked his chin pensively.

"Hmph...you really don't know anything, do you?"

"Can't say I do, no. It's why I'm asking." His hand drifting from chin to eyepatch, Zeke chuckled knowingly.

"You ask why a man would want to hold his lady love in his arms, as though the answer isn't self-evident! To hold her close! To keep her safe! To feel the warmth of her body and the tingle of her breath upon your n-"

"Normal version, please." Zeke deflated to around half his normal size, his rousing speech dashed by the peanut gallery yet again.

"I wanted to carry her around 'cause it seemed nice and romantic and stuff and I just wanted to hold her like that. I didn't ask her first 'cause she's cute when she's flustered. Is that good enough?" he mumbled in the tones of a child trying to rationalize why his hand was wedged in the cookie jar, his fingers idly playing with his eyepatch string. Rex sighed.

"Yeah. I get it. I guess." A few rusty gears suddenly began grinding to life in Rex's head. An idea was emerging.

"Say, Zeke...do you think Pyra would act like...that?" he asked, eyes trained firmly on some really nice gravel so he didn't have to see Zeke's reaction. Specfically his shit-eating grin. The image of a blushing Pyra held in his arms had flashed through Rex's head, and he was rather taken with the idea of seeing it again. He needed more blushing Pyra in his life. And arms. Luckily this seemed to fulfill both needs.

"Like what? Pandoria? Probably, chum, probably. Maybe less kicking. And electricity. Why?" A brand new unbearable smile made its way across his lips. "You're not thinking of trying it, are you? I must warn you, it's an advanced technique, open only to the most skilled of lovers."

"If you can do it, I'm pretty sure I can pull it off," Rex shot back with zero regard for Zeke's fragile ego.

"I-I'm not rising to that! A master is secure in his knowledge! Anyway, don't you think you're jumping the gun a tad? You two don't seem terribly...intimate. Haven't even kissed, I'm led to believe."

Rex didn't really have a counter for that. It was true. His relationship with Pyra largely consisted of them both having several ideas on how to further things and then immediately cowarding out of the matter the second they saw the other party. They smiled at each other a lot. That was kind of like being married by their standards. Still, might as well try and save some face.

"W-well, no. But we hold hands sometimes! As long as we don't look at each other too much. This isn't that big of a jump, it's just going from holding her hand to holding her..." Rex trailed off. In the flurry of flying limbs and incoherent yelling, he hadn't really gotten a good look at what Zeke was actually doing. Luckily, he picked up on Rex's hint fairly quickly.

"Ah well, I suppose there's no harm in teaching you the form. In the absence of my darling Pandy, you'll have to make do, chum" he said, before effortlessly sweeping his hands around Rex's back and legs, subjecting him to the Zeke Von Genbu Ultimate Bridal Carry Max within seconds.

"Wh-how did yo-I see why Pandoria was making all that noise now, Zeke, that caught me right off guard!" Rex yelped, resisting the temptation to squeak and flail like Zeke's previous victim. There was something about Zeke's speed that made it downright terrifying. Zeke looked down, staring into Rex's eyes with slightly too much passion for his liking.

"The essence of the bridal carry lies in two things: Surprise and Form! Surprise is self-explanatory: do not tell her you're going to do it. It cheapens the impact." Rex was pretty sure this philosophy was going to land Zeke in considerable trouble one day. He let it pass. For his own education. He nodded quietly at Zeke to carry on.

"Now, as for Form, things get a little more complicated. What you want to do is approach her from the front, then, dart towards her side. Place one hand at the back of the knee and the other at her upper back, then use the momentum from your dash to push her down, thus making lifting her all the swifter. This maximimizes the surprise factor, but that's not all! Properly executed, this technique will properly support her legs and back during the hold, providing maximum comfort! She'll be butter in your arms, but less messy! Surely you can already feel the magic working on you?"

Rex hated to admit it, but he was right. Zeke's hands were positioned to hold him firmly in place so that he couldn't sag too much, but there was a certain gentleness to the grip that kept things comfortable. He wasn't trapped, but cradled.

Now he was wondering why Pandoria didn't like this.

Oh. Right. That.

"Listen, Zeke, the part about holding, I get it, but do I really have to surprise her with this? You saw how Pandoria reacte-scratch that, you felt how Pandoria reacted." Pyra was a lot less likely to indiscriminately burn Rex if he tried this, but the possibilitiy of her doing it as a reflex remained.

"I believe I addressed this in part one of the seminar. The surprise is essential to her reaction. Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems to me you want access to my secret arts because you don't just want to hold her in your arms- you want to see your beloved's face red with embarassment, as crimson as her eyes!"

"...yeah, I do. You got me there." The eyes thing was pretty good, actually. Maybe he'd steal it and write Pyra some poetry or something. Means he wouldn't have to say it directly to her face, which is always where they stumbled.

"If that's what you want, then surprise her, you fool! Like this!" His split-second warning delivered, Zeke slid his hands out from under Rex, letting him clatter to the ground. Rex coughed at the dust billowing up around him from the impact.

"Okay, just to clarify: I'm not dropping her. It'll surprise her, but she's not gonna like it much."

"What if you drop her on her bed?" Zeke revved up his inappropriate probing for another round.

"Well then she'll be comfy, won't she?" Rex retorted, refusing to let Zeke's bullshit get to him.

"Perhaps even comfier if you were there as her pillow, eh?" His bullshit had gotten to him. Rex's face went red as he tried not to think about it too hard.

"Look, this is gonna be hard enough as is without you adding...that. I'm gonna trust you on all this, you know. Especially the surprise part. If I get hurt, I expect an apology." Zeke tilted his head back and guffawed.

"Take it from a master, it'll be fine. She'll be swooning the second she's horizontal! Now go get 'er, chum!"

Rex grinned, a renewed sense of confidence flowing through him. Zeke may have caused Pandoria to have a public meltdown and sustained several unexamined electrical burns, but...well, it seemed to work. On someone less prone to violence, like Pyra, it might just be perfect. Maybe he was on to something. He broke into a run, eager to put all he'd learnt to the test.

"Right! Thanks, Zeke! I hope I don't regret this!" he turned his head and yelled back at his wise teacher before veering off towards his home.

"I'm sure you won't chum. I'm sure you won't," Zeke chuckled quietly to no one in particular. Then, his one exposed eye widened in realization.

"Wait. Rex is a bit on the...short side, isn't he? And Pyra is a lot...oh boy. Looks like even the mighty Zeke Von Genbu can overlook a small detail or two. Ah, well. It'll be a learning experience. Maybe he'll drink his milk next time."

Rex burst through the front door, courage propelling him forward at a dangerous pace. His eyes, fiery and determined, scanned the room for his target. What he found was close, but definetely not right.

"Really, with that? Couldn't just open the door like a normal person? I'm trying to read here," Mythra said, squinting irritably at Rex and his boisterous door-slamming. She was sprawled gracelessly across a sofa, legs dangling off the end and kicking rhythmlessly.

Rex wondered how all those artists over the years, who'd created beautiful, awe-inspring paintings of the Aegis herself, the very incarnation of power, beauty and grace, would react to her as she is now, glaring and flopped on the sofa in a mess of blonde hair and crumpled white fabric.

Maybe they'd just make it so she was actually wearing her shoes. That'd be a start.

"I- yeah, sorry, I was in a hurry. Listen, you haven't seen Pyra anywhere, have you?" Rex spoke hurriedly. It wasn't that speaking to Mythra was always fraught with peril, but annoying her before the conversation's even started was a pretty poor opening position. Best to get out of her way quickly.

"Kitchen, Rex. Always check the kitchen. What's the hurry, anyway? Gonna try and get past the whole handholding deadlock thing?"

"N-no, I-wait. Yes. Yes, actually. Zeke gave me some advice." Mythra snorted in response, eyes drifting back towards her book.

"Zeke, huh? Great. Can't wait to hear about it in half an hour when Pyra's asking me what the hell you tried to do. Try not to upset her too much."

"I'm pretty sure I won't. His advice is weird, but it sounds good, you know? I'm sure it'll be fine." Rex waved his hand dismissively as he strode towards the kitchen. Mythra snorted again, slightly louder than before.

"Tell you what, if this goes well, you can have a slice of my cake. Wait, no, I take it back, you can watch me eat the cake and I'll describe how it tastes. I'm not risking it." She glanced up. The kitchen door noisily swang to and fro from Rex's overenthusiastic opening. Mythra sighed.

"I really hope them getting closer doesn't mean he's gonna slam doors all the time."

Mythra was quite right, as it turns out. Always check the kitchen. Pyra was stood at the counter, humming quietly as she chopped vegetables. Rex could just make out the frilly pink apron strings tied round her neck. It was the one with the love hearts on it. It didn't undermine her gravitas as an Aegis quite as much as Mythra's lounging posture, but it didn't help.

Rex stopped to consider his options. Zeke insisted the element of surprise was crucial to her reaction. For the purest reaction, he should make his move right here. But, Pyra was:

A: standing at a kitchen counter. Any scooping attempts would result in hitting her head off of something. This seemed counter-productive.

B: holding a knife. Knives plus the possibility of flailing limbs was a poor combo.

He sighed. Looks like he needed a compromise. The purity of the surprise needed to be dilluted.

"Hey, Pyra," he called out softly, not wanting to startle her too much. She turned her head and gave him a warm smile.

"Oh, hello, Rex! I thought you were still with Zeke. Pandoria said you two were talking. Then she stole your Tartari."

"Wha-I told her not to! Is it because mine's the only one without a death threat attached?"

"Mythra's methods are extreme, but they work. I thought she'd go for my salad first, though." Pyra shrugged, then frowned with concern, stepping towards him. "Is something wrong. You look...um. Intense. I've not seen you pull that face in a while, actually."

Rex's eyes shone with pure determination, adrenaline pumping through him. He focused on her hands. No knife. It was with the carrots. Good. They swivled towards the counter, then back to Pyra. There was at least one whole Pyra-length of distance between her and the counter. Perfect. No risk of head injury. Now was the moment. No warning. No mercy. It was hug time.

He advanced on her without a word, running through Zeke's every instruction in his head while she tilted her head in confusion. Dash to the side. He made his move without a moment's hesitation, instantly reaching her side. This mostly just confused Pyra more.

In an instant, he closed the gap. One hand on back. Other hand at the knees. Use the momentum to tip her over, then catch her. All according to plan.

"Rex, what're you do-WAH!"

All according to plan. Right up until the bit where they both fell over into a tangled red-and-blue mass. Rex analyzed the situation rapidly. What went wrong? What went wrong? He'd done everything Zeke said perfectly, right down to lifting h-oh.

At once, Rex realized everything.

Like it or not, Pyra had a decent amount of height on him. With height comes weight. With weight comes a certain threshhold of strength required to lift someone. It turns out this is somewhat hard when you're smaller than the person you want to lift. Zeke, with his tallness and rippling muscles, had a king's ransom of unfair advantages. Rex had a can-do attitude and a small, skinny frame. This did not help much.

Pyra groaned, shifting slightly on the ground. They'd both landed approximately in each other's arms, which was, you know, nice, and a fun bonus, but not really what Rex'd been after. Pyra eventually realized this and squeaked before jolting back slightly, her face turning as red as her eyes. Man, Zeke really was onto a winner with that one, huh. Rex had to use it at some point.

"Um. Rex?" she whispered, face still red.

"Yep?"

"What was...all that, there? I don't even know what you tried to do. You kinda just knocked me over."

Rex sighed, gathering what little confidence was left untarnished by this utter failure. Might as well come clean. He'd prefer it if Pyra didn't assume he was going to randomly tackle her from now on.

"I, uh...So, I saw Zeke do that to Pandoria. He, um, surprised her by picking her up and she got kinda embarassed by it, and he said it was cute and something about it being a husband's duty, which I tried not to think about too hard, and then he said he just wanted to hold her which I think is probably the real reason, so I asked him how to do it so that I could try it on you, and, as it turns out, I can't pick you up. At all." He was hoping the rapid, breathless explanation would mean she didn't dwell on the implications too much.

Luckily for him, he'd forgotten about Pyra's density, rivalled only by his own. She paused, her train of thought slowly pulling out of the station. Largely in the wrong direction.

"...Rex?"

"Yeah?"

"...We're not married."

"Neither are they."

"Why did he do it, then?"

"Probably the bit where he thought her reaction was cute. He said the surprise was the best part."

"So does that mean you wanted to pick me up because you thought my reaction would be c-oh." Rex's brief reprieve was over. She'd figured it out. Pyra started nervously fidgeting, her fingers squirming and dancing across each other restlessly.

"Um. Are you saying you think I'm cute?"

"...did you think I didn't?"

"You've never said it before." Rex stared blankly at her. Their relationship was kind of founded on a mutual, unspoken understanding that they both loved each other very deeply, but were both cursed with absolutely zero initiative. Still, were they really that bad? Was he really that bad? Hadn't even gotten as far as mildly complimenting her appearance? Since today was already a mortifying storm of embarassment, Rex figured he might as well fix this.

"Okay. Uh. Pyra. I think you're cute. Um. Very cute. The cutest person I've ever met. Probably the cutest person in the whole world. I don't think I've ever seen you not be cute. You're...you're very cute, Pyra." He may have laid it on a little thick with all that. He justified it as making up for lost time. It did seem to have turned every inch of her face so bright red she operated as a novelty lamp at this point, though. At least, he assumed that's what had happened. It was hard to tell when 90% of her face was concealed by her hands. She peeked out at him from a gap between her fingers.

"T-thank you, Rex, t-that was...very s-sweet. Um. I...think you're cute, too," she mumbled at a barely audible level. Rex suddenly found himself very interested in the wall. Or the door. Basically anything non-Pyra related. No wonder she'd hidden behind her hands. Turns out being called cute by your girlfriend is potent.

Wait. Did the door always wear white shoes?

Oh no.

"Okay, I had low expectations on what Zeke's advice was gonna look like, and I'm still disappointed. What part of the Von Genbu courtship guide says "lie on the floor in the middle of the kitchen and call each other cute," 'cause it sounds pretty funny." Rex flopped his raised head back onto the ground, closing his eyes in despair.

Mythra, no. Mythra, please. We're getting somewhere, here, Mythra. Mythra. Come on, Mythra. She's going to laugh at us.

"T-this wasn't what he told me to do! It's more like...well, like I messed up what he told me to do. A lil' bit." Rex wasn't sure why he was trying to damage control this. Admitting this was a result of his own screw-up wasn't exactly going to salvage the situation. Pyra, for her part, rushed to his defense. Or tried.

"Um...He was trying to pick me up, apparantly. And couldn't. He thought it would be cute. T-then he called me cute." Mythra attempted to suppress a laugh for approximately half a second before letting it loose. She stepped over the pair, laughing up a storm for her entire journey to the fridge. She wiped a single tear from her eye.

"Good to know you guys are so bad at this that you can't even meet Zeke's standards on romance." She rummaged towards the back of the fridge, grabbing hold of her prize. Chocolate cake, triple the regulation amount of icing encrusted over every inch. Her one true love.

"Still, it got you to loosen up and say something to each other, so I guess his advice worked. Even if you screwed it up. You should probably try this more often," Mythra had by this point rifled through the drawers for a fork, ready to give Rex his promised reward. She scraped the first layer of icing off and plunged the fork into her mouth.

"Hm. Rich. Sweet. Pretty thick, as well. Probably the best cake I've had in a while. Good thing I didn't actually bet a slice, huh? Don't let me stop you, by the way. Keep doing your kitchen confessional thing if you wanna." Mythra strode out of the kitchen, beloved in hand, waving vaguely in their direction as she went.

Rex and Pyra lay in silence for a moment before awkwardly shuffling into sitting positions. If nothing else, Mythra's intervention had reminded them to stop lying on a cold kitchen floor for so long. The pair stared at their shoes for a moment before Pyra broke the silence. By saying 'um.' Not much, but it was a start.

"Rex...I've been thinking that maybe we should do more...um. Couple stuff. It's been on my mind for a while now, and, well, if it's bothering you so much that you're taking advice from Zeke..."

"I-it's not bothering me, I just saw him with Pandoria and thought it'd be, you know. Romantic. Also, I dunno if that's very nice. He means well, y'know?" Pyra giggled.

"He's not the first person I'd go to for relationship advice is all I'm saying. And it must be bothering you if you're asking anyone about it, nevermind Zeke. Maybe Mythra's right. Maybe we should loosen up a little and...talk about this," she said, sliding slightly closer to Rex. She was probably right. Which meant Mythra was right. Mythra was surprisingly supportive, in her own sniping way. He took a deep breath.

"Alright. I'll try. Well, I mean, I...I want us to be able to be a little more, I dunno...open? But then whenever I want to try something or ask you, I get scared, or I start wondering if you'll get scared, so I kind of just...give up. A bit. And, I really do want to, because, well..." He paused, composing himself. Neither of them had ever actually said this. It was mutually understood, but maybe vocalizing it would change something.

"I love you, Pyra. More than anything. And I wanna be able to show you that."

Rex tried to maintain at least some eye contact with Pyra while spilling out half his insecurities. And feelings. It was kind of hard. Pyra had rather selfishly managed to look straight at him for that entire speech. She was giving him that look again, too. That look he couldn't stand where her eyes started glistening a little and her smile was the warmest thing in the world and ugh, how inconsiderate of her, it's a lot easier to tell someone you love them when they're not actively doing things that make you love them more.

Pyra didn't respond. Instead, she got to her feet, circling Rex with slow, deliberate steps. This didn't exactly put him at ease. Why wasn't she saying anything? Did he get something wrong? If he did, it'd be nice if she'd tell him, put him outta his misery, you know? Rex was so lost in worry about her reaction that he hadn't realized what she was planning.

"Um...Pyra? Was that...was that bad? PyrAHHH!"

In one fluid motion, Pyra crouched down behind Rex, wrapped her arms tightly around his stomach and leapt to her feet, bringing Rex and his now-frantically kicking legs up with her in a bear-hug. She leaned her head forward, resting her chin on his shoulder before softly giggling.

"Ooh, Zeke was right, you know. The surprise is the best part. You're blushing so much." Rex managed to get his legs under control. There wasn't much hope for his burning cheeks, but legs were better than nothing.

"Wh-what d'you expect?! That was bad enough when Zeke did it! Why did you pick me up, anyway?!"

"What do you mean, 'why?' You don't like it?" Pyra loosened her grip slightly, prepared to let Rex down if he insisted. He froze, mulling it over. Did he like it? It wasn't really what he envisioned. Zeke had kinda set him up with an expectation on who was meant to carry who in this scenario, but, well, Zeke's original vision hadn't exactly panned out, had it? And this wasn't that bad. It was roughly the same benefits- close to Pyra, hugging, actually physically expressing affection for the first time, the opportunity to confirm that she was exactly as soft and warm as he assumed she was. Everything seemed in order, really. Rex tilted his head towards Pyra's until they were touching.

"No...actually, I think I like it a lot. I could get pretty used to this."

"You don't mind if we stay like this for a while, then?" Pyra asked, squeezing Rex a little tighter.

"Nah. It's...it's pretty nice," he replied, adjusting his arms so that his hands rested on top of hers. The pair closed their eyes, simply enjoying each other's company.

"Ooh, hugging. Decent upgrade." Rex shuddered slightly in Pyra's grip, his eyes jerking awake. Pyra simply shot one of her rare glares at her intruding sister. Unfortunately, it was nowhere near powerful enough to defeat Mythra's honed glaring technique. She didn't even flinch, walking straight past them to the sink. She dumped her now barren plate in the water. Not even a crumb left. Mythra never let her prey escape.

"What? It is. Look, if you don't want me walking in on this, stop doing it in the kitchen. I know it's the site of like, half your relationship milestones, now, but you're gonna get a lot of traffic. Keep it up, though, maybe you'll hit kissing next." With that, she left once again. Pyra kept her glare trained on her until she was out of sight before sighing in frustration.

"I know she's right. But I don't like that she's right." Pyra gently lowered Rex back down, making sure his feet were flat on the ground before letting go. Despite her inexperience, she handled the drop-down with a lot more finesse than Zeke. Rex scratched the back of his head.

"She could at least knock, huh?" Pyra sighed once again.

"She's always been like this. I think she just enjoys interrupting things. Even before we had seperate bodies, she'd always start yelling at me in my head in the middle of conversations. Especially if you and I were talking."

"Really? Why?"

"She was usually telling me to not, um...do. Anything with you. Not that that was a problem until about a second ago."

"She told you that? She doesn't seem to have a problem with us being together now."

"You probably have a different perspective on it when you have to watch the whole thing. And remember it. And feel it. She'd always start shouting "NO KISSING" at me. I kinda understand why."

"I...can see that, yeah. Guess it's a good thing we took so long on all this, huh?" They both smiled sheepishly at each other.

"Yeah, probably. Um. Rex?"

"What is i-" Rex's widened in shock, his pupils shrinking to near-invisibility. Once again, Pyra had completely outdone him. She'd swooped in mid-reply, placing her hands on his shoulders, and pressed her lips against his, with no warning. Her kiss itself was surprisingly timid despite the boldness of the move, her lips only lightly touching his. As the shock faded, Rex returned the kiss as best as he could, deepening it slightly. Only slightly. Neither of them really knew what they were doing, but they were trying their best. After a few more seconds, Pyra broke off the kiss, but kept her face close to Rex's. She turned her head towards his ear.

"I forgot to say. I love you, too, Rex," she whispered, before pulling him in for a second embrace. Rex nervously returned it, slowly wrapping his hands around her back. He hadn't quite adjusted to Pyra's new-found bravery about physical affection. Or verbal affection, come to think of it. She was kinda throwing him off with it. Still, he thought, maybe now, things would get easier. Maybe they wouldn't both be so damn nervous all the time. Maybe, just maybe, kissing Pyra would be a regular occurence. Sounded alright to him. He looked up into Pyra's eyes with a wide grin.

"You know you gotta apologize to Zeke, now, right? His advice worked." Pyra rolled her eyes in response.

"Yeah, for me. Not so much for you."

"What d'you mean? If I hadn't tried to pick you up, none of this would've haAAHHHPENED!" As he was speaking, Pyra had slid her hands to his back and knees and hefted him into her arms, executing a beautiful example of the Zeke Von Genbu Ultimate Bridal Carry Max. She didn't even need the momentum trick to help her. Zeke would've shed a tear. And told her to back off from his copyright. Pyra returned Rex's grin as she pulled him closer.

"See? Element of surprise. It's working out pretty well for me." Rex laughed, sinking further into her embrace.

"I'd say it's working out pretty well for both of us." Pyra gave him a disappointed look.

"That's really cheesy, Rex. I expected better."

"What if I told you I wanted to see your face turn as red as your eyes?"

"You stole that from Zeke."

"What? No! That's a Rex original!"

"Oh? Are you sure? Why don't we go ask, then? You know Zeke never lets anyone take the credit for his...work." Pyra began walking out of the kitchen with her hapless captive in tow.

"Uh, no, no, I'd rather not, I'm sure he's real busy right now, wouldn't wanna bother him, by the way, are you planning on putting me down for this?" Rex was really beginning to see why Pandoria reacted how she did. He felt calmer and safer than he'd ever felt in his entire life. But he was powerless. Trapped. At Pyra's probably quite gentle mercy.

"Oh, no, of course not. We have to show Zeke how well his advice paid off!"

"P-Pyra, come on!" She ignored him as she carefully kicked the front door open. She stepped out into the village, eager to show Zeke the results of his training. Rex found himself wishing he'd kept his helmet on. At least he could hide his face that way. Still, he thought, as he glanced up at his grinning girlfriend, things could've gone a lot worse. Especially with Zeke masterminding it all.

**Author's Note:**

> I apologize for the low quality of this mess.


End file.
